I must admit…these couple of months have been challenging not just for me but for T. I’ve been incredibly sick from pregnancy and sick from a relentless cough & flu bug.
I’ve been so weak physically that all I could do was stay in bed for most of the 3 months. Sometimes negative thoughts do creep in as I think of the workload I’ve left T with (renovation, administration stuff) and not being able to contribute because I have non of the mental and physical capacity to follow through them.
I can’t step into our new place as the Chinese believe that a pregnant lady should not be involved in the house renovations. Imagine all the work that needs to be done and decisions that need to be made.
The nasty cough and flu bug also choose to stick close to me during this period. We have switched from sleeping in air-con to fan, made adjustments to my life and visited the doctor a good 5 – 6 times. No medication worked. Imagine my frustration! I can’t sleep well, I can’t eat well and I’m constantly in a irritable mood. According to the doctors, the immune system drops so as to protect the little one. I suppose there is some comfort to that statement in this case.
I spoke to my dear friend one day as I was filled with all these negative thoughts and guilt. I felt quite upset that T had to do everything for the house & he was rather worried about my health as well. I told her that marriage isn’t fair. Sometimes one party takes too much and this time it’s me.
Lucky for us, we have really good family support from both sides of parents and T’s sister.
It’s a little strange how so many adults have to make adjustments in their smallest way possible just to ensure the survival of a little one we have yet to meet or see. I think you are quite a lucky one 🙂 So please grow well!
31 October 2014
Oh! Look at those lines!
We were supposed to be heading to a Halloween Party but somehow, deep down within me, I knew something wasn’t right. I was tired and all I wanted to do for the past few days was head back home to sleep. Initially, I thought I was being lazy. But I was cautious at the same time. Yup, definitely pregnant now 🙂
11 November 2014
We had an early scan due to some complications previously. Doctor gave us the thumbs up and baby is measuring the right size at 3.4mm. I’m on hormone pills, aspirin & folic acid. Somehow the first two items aren’t making me feel like good. Yup – nausea, dizziness & tiredness. My energy level is so low all I want to do by 5pm is crawl into bed.
22 November 2014
I had to stop a serving of the hormone pills as it was impossible to function. My existing chicken stomach, pre-pregnancy, is shrinking even further. I literally fall into a food coma after 4 bites! I sit there and feel myself drifting away…
24th November 2014 & counting
More or less bed-ridden. I caught a flu, cough and bad throat which refuses to leave my body. I visited 4 doctors and had 4 courses of medication. And now I’m so afraid of popping pills. I can’t help but wonder if this would affect the baby…
At this very moment I feel so utterly miserable and wonder when all this will end. To top it up with nausea and fatigue, I think this is what I call double misery. I have absolutely no energy. I heard that this too shall pass…